Kung Fury 2 is Being Taped With Arnie and the Hoff

I want you to cast your mind back. Back to the Future year of 2015.

2015 was a great year. David Bowie was alive, Grand Theft Auto V was released on PC, and ‘aquafaba’ was created.

(Granted, I don’t know what ‘aquafaba’ is, and I don’t care. It’s just a fun word to say. ‘Aquafaba.’)

Oh yeah, and Kung Fury was released. So that’s cool.

What could be more 80’s than that? That’s right! David Hasselhoff! You know what else gives me 80’s flashbacks? Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well guess what. They’re in Kung Fury 2. Along with Michael Fassbender.

Do you want a breakdown of their characters? Well you’ve got one, because I can copy and paste it off Wikipedia. Less effort for me.

  • David Sandberg as Kung Fury, a Miami detective who possesses a new and powerful form of kung fu after being struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra, thus becoming “The Chosen One” as foretold by an ancient prophecy
  • Michael Fassbender as Colt Magnum, Kung Fury’s partner
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger as The President
  • Alexandra Shipp as Rey Porter, a reporter with a complicated relationship to Fury.
  • Jorma Taccone as Adolf Hitler
  • Leopold Nilsson as Hackerman, a computer whiz who can transform into a Hackerbot
  • Eleni Young as Barbarianna, a Viking warrior who rides a giant wolf and wields a Minigun
  • David Hasselhoff as Hoff 9000 (voice), member of Fury’s team who transformed into a car.

I’m not sure if those clickable links work, but I’m keeping them in anyway, because I’m doing this post on mobile and a huge lack of sleep. In fact, why bother with typing at all? I could just screenshot Wikipedia. It’s not plagiarism if it’s a screenshot. Loopholes.

Oh god I’m so tired. Send help. This is really bad for my health.

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